hallelujah

i think my stepbrother has some mental disorders. he's like... crazy. i don't know why but the situation at home is super hectic. i hate it, really. i wish i can have a home of my own. have some peace. wish i was legal to buy a home of my own. i hate babies when they are crying. honestly i'm not that all goody-goody. i hate the sound of babies crying. i wonder how will i grow up and become a mother. well i wish i can become a mother to cats instead of babies. LOL okay i'm saying it figuratively BTW! sigh.. sometimes i feel that my classmates are faking themselves. like they don't like my company. sometimes i'm left out, sometimes i'm in the picture. get it? sometimes they don't wait for me, sometimes they want me to be around them because i have something. so it's their gain. get it, right? cause the signs that they are faking/don't like my company... is like.. it's so obvious. or is it just me? or is it like that? i mean, friends don't leave friends wherever they are, right? IDK. okay the weather is nice. i should tuck in already. night. xoxo