endless love.

how does it feel like to get rejected? miserable. yes. utterly miserable. firstly, blaming myself for putting on hopes thinking he would feel the same towards me. secondly, blaming him for not warning me he has someone in mind already and he yet shows me the affection. i am indeed, crippled by love. it's ironic that i should be actually crying right now but i'm doing the opposite, smiling. guess i am happy for him. no matter what happens, i still want to be friends. though i know it's hard to face it myself. sigh. goodnight guys, have a good sleep guys, xoxo

sleepy.

i'll do a quick update. it's 4.30am in the morning. i'm going to sleep right after uploading photos. i had a breath-taking saturday with the tamp boys. they are a real laughter. well i can say now i'm in a dilemma. so i like this guy but i'm not brave. i'm not giving hints either. nor do i wanna tell his close friends. oh now i'm confused! it's okay. the important thing is that i've had fun on my saturday. it doesn't really happen but it did. so yay! i'm gonna sit at home today and complete my homework! my schedule is getting tighter. (LOL) have a good day ahead guys! bye xoxo

uneasy..

so how's my fujifilm dslr camera working? bad? good? okay? hmm.. time to explore more. goodnight guys! have a good sleep, xoxo

updates.

hi guys.

so this week has been quite tough for me. well not really that tough but it's just that i have been busy. tight schedule. i'm excited to tell you guys that i'm getting a dslr. (stoked) it's the nikon D3100. well i just wanted to update you guys what has been happening for this few days. BTW there was a streaming talk early in the morning just now and i swear i feel like i want to freak out.. it's like, the feeling when you want to shout out loud badly. it's like all my fears are hiding in me but at the same time it just wants to escape this little red heart. maybe some of you guys think streaming isn't important but it is because whatever i decide to take up next year will determine what course i can opt when i want to go for some poly. like if i want to take some course like engineering or something like that, i need a good math result. which i think consists of elementary math and additonal math. i can't cope with elementary math and what if i take additional math? EW. my algebra concept isn't strong. well most of the courses that i have seen in the poly magazine, it shows that you need to pass either elementary or additional math. well that sounds like a killer to me. well good luck. but if i wanna take up like mass communication, tourism & resorts management, early psychology thingy or blabla i guess i need to get a good score for my english or POA? IDK. well i thought of choosing combination 2 which consists of combined science and there's art (i love art), POA, literature and some other sub. well to be honest i love literature because there's a lot of reading to do and i love reading and mainly because i want to read romeo and juliet. everyone knows romeo and juliet but do you know what's the depth of the story? that is why taking up lit is definitely what i am interested in. even if i can take pure science, (maybe) i doubt i would be taking that. like pure chem pure physics. omg that's the killer. time for me to prepare for the worst. IDK why but i'm panicking on the fact that my EOY is coming near and my confidence isn't here. i need a boost, really

goodnight

Edward Cullen - Bella's Lullaby / [RIVER FLOWS IN YOU] (download link/sh...

"it will be my lullaby," i said..

river flows in you..

sigh.. i won't try to resize my photos again. such a bummer -_- all the pictures uploaded to my photobucket account was supposed to be resized (bigger) so that i can put it @ my blog but the sizing was extra big! i mean it's big you guys can even see every detail of me.. i think? btw.. i won't try to win his heart anymore either. hoping isn't a choice for me. you know.. when you're all hoping too much but then all the hopes are like going to be crushed by a big boulder and crushed into diamond-hard rubble. well, all of us hope, but do not hope for the same things.. just a short update. everything has been so rough (which is not good) but the weather has been lovely (which is good). i'm getting busier and busier each day with my assignments and tasks given out and i have no time to hang out or catch a movie. *loud sigh* lets all hope things are going to be smooth.

i've got lots to catch up and i can't promise to do another update soon but i will try to keep time by my side if i can. goodnight, xoxo

"2 more chapters to finish breaking dawn"

short updates.

i am so shagged and i'll do a proper update real soon okay. have a good day ahead xoxo

sigh

i've got loads of errands running up for me today so.. sigh.. i can't go out. aiming to complete my homework by today so i can relax for the whole week. by the way i've got ideas on what to blog about. well since i don't really do videos of myself and video guru's have this thing called video tags. well....... i'm gonna do blogger tags. haha! okay so i've gotten 3 questions from a friend of mine. so the questions are....

1. do you prefer hanging out with guys or girls?

my answer was.. guys. why guys? cause sometimes girls like to gossip and they are quite annoying. well some girls are just super annoying which is unquestionably true. or they are either so bitchy or they are superficial about things they see. well beautiful people get it better. and people like beautiful people. if they are not, they are either dumb or ugly. i guess? okay it's not like i don't gossip but sometimes i see no reason why i should start gossip or hating or underestimating or humiliating someone. honestly, i hate talking bad about someone because i've realized i am no different than others. it's not like i don't talk bad about someone but not anymore. i think it's just weird when i start scolding myself when i bad mouth about someone or have thoughts that are just not good? i reflect. yes as a human i reflect on whatever i say and if necessarily, i scold myself for being a bad girl. HAHAHA what am i?

2. do guys or girls lie more?

i think that girls lie more? honestly i do lie sometimes but i don't do it anymore. i mean up till now. enough of lying. girls lie more because 1. they want freedom or 2. for the sake of their friends or 3. just for their ultimate good. plus a girl is somehow like a precious diamond to their parents and girls need more protection. for example a parent that controls their daughter won't possibly let their daughter wonder out late at night without their supervision so when girls want freedom, they lie. maybe they say they're having a slumber party at a girlfriend's house and there's supervision or something like that.. so i think that girls lie more because they want what they want or because it's for the sake of their friends. well for guys, i don't see why they have a reason to lie. i mean guys can protect themselves without supervision. they can even protect their own mother and therefore, they have more freedom than girls and they don't have to lie about where they are going or who are they with or what they are doing as long as they know how to supervise themselves. well but guys lie to their girlfriends maybe? hehe.

3. if i were to start a relationship, what type of guy will you look for?

this. question. is. so.typical. ok i hope i emphasized my words by putting fullstops. haha. well i want someone who is understanding. who doesn't right? i have a curfew and that curfew applies to me everyday. well if i'm out with my parents then there's nothing i call a curfew. i have to be home at 7pm sharp/on the dot and i think guys can never tolerate this type of girl? guys like girls that can go out late at night, right? i mean they'll be like, "ew this kid has a curfew. time to get back to momma" well idk. i like guys who cares for the environment and people. people who don't get it better. i want a guy who can see better than any other guy can. like i said people like people who look good and if you're not, you're either dumb or ugly but i think it's best to embrace the suck. i want someone who can support me in my life. like support in whatever i do. like maybe supporting me in my studies, my interests, my competitions and me. a guy that can accept my friends. no matter what their race is or how they look like and can accept me for at my worst and at my best. and lastly a guy who doesn't whine.

so that's the 3 questions. anyone who wants to do this blog tags please feel free to do it because i do not own it so it's open for all of you guys to do it. it would be great to see you guys doing blog tags so i can read it too. sharing is caring! have a great day ahead and don't be stucked at home like me doing all my homework by myself! bummer

short updates

i'll do a proper update soon. everything is not organized now. sucks to be me sometimes!

have a pleasant day ahead guys! xoxo

astonished much

i can say though that i'm astonished by the new layout by blogger, i'm still not used to the new layout :/ so how can i like undo this again? i mean i want blogger layout to look like the old blogger layout. oh besides it's my fault for clicking the 'try the new layout blablabla' bummer :( btw i have good news (benefits me) which i think may not benefit you guys. i've learnt how to thread my own eyebrows! yay. haha i bet some of you will be like 'oh this little girl has just known how to thread her own eyebrows. so last year' ceh. i'm anticipated to watch glee 3D (glee fan)! hmm got nothing to talk about really. i've been sticking around at home and i know i seldom update my blog these days but since i'm silenced (to boredom), i thought of blogging and so here i am. actually i don't want to stop talking but i feel like maybe what i want to talk about might either annoy you guys or maybe you guys just don't wanna read but please don't give up on me readers (err if i have one?). i actually wanna talk about vampires since i'm so fond of them but............................. crap much? haha. well gotta go. can't squeeze for more juice out from my brains. sucks to be in this situation really